Get Rid Of Self Hate Once And For All

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Females with low self esteem can find it hard to break the low self esteem cycle. We all need to flip the conversation to how to build confidence in women.

Alice Seuffert body image

An Utterly Refreshing Take On Body Image

A female with low self esteem connected to body image very rarely—if ever—has thoughts that can be fixed externally. It takes conscious effort and work to shift the thinking and self talk that females with low self esteem engage in. This can be incredibly taxing. On VProud there's an utterly refreshing take on the self image conversation: What if we don't hate ourselves? Mother, writer, and television personality Alice Seuffert reflects on the video and the topic of women and self esteem with an equally fresh look at body image and self esteem falling on a spectrum that we can choose to propel ourselves on in one direction or another. Take a look at what Alice says about her own process, what it took to get her to a place where she faces the world with body confidence, and how she faces other women who are body confident, and those who are not. See if you find yourself in Alice's story and where your body confidence falls on the love-hate-and-everything-in-between spectrum.

—The VProud Team


low self esteem female


Learn to Love Yourself

By Alice Seuffert for VProud


Unfortunately, body confidence is a rare commodity.

Loving your body is difficult to acquire and requires constant care. Frankly, it’s easier to give into the negative self-talk and one-up others in self-hate conversations. We receive compliments and we dismiss them. Like my dress? “It’s just from the thrift store.” Someone comments that they hate their belly; we share how ours is even worse. We can’t accept that anyone else may love something about us if we don’t love our own bodies first.

Poor body confidence is the unfortunate foundation many women, including myself, have built our body image upon. I chased skinny for many years, never catching it. My ideas for how my body should feel and look were skewed by the noise around me: media, friends and family members who I didn’t look like. I tried every self-destructive behavior to try and get my body to a size and shape I would love. And it never happened.

Until now. I have learned to love my body and myself for the very first time in my life.

The irony is my love for my body now has nothing to do with the scale numbers or clothing tags. And that is a very difficult realization to come to terms with because I’ve wasted so much valuable time. I’ve been taught for so long that body love is equated to the scale and the size of my jeans. It’s scary, really. But now it is so empowering to find the truth in loving your body. My healthy body image comes from recognizing the actions my body has taken from birthing babies to running a 5K.

Recently, a friend and I were together and took a picture and upon seeing herself, she started self-hating about her body parts and how she looked in the picture. I stopped her and shared my thoughts about who and what I saw in the picture. And she started to cry because she had never seen that in pictures of herself.

Look at yourself. Look at photos and your reflection in the mirror. It is not about looking in the mirror and saying I like X body part and not X body part. Truly loving yourself means seeing yourself for more than those certain parts and loving your whole body collectively. You need to redirect your self-hating thoughts in the mirror or after you take a picture. Every time.

Distracted by your arms? Upset about a double chin? You’re doing it wrong. Your body is powerful. You are strong, smart and that one body part is a sliver in how wonderful you are.

I don’t wake up every day thinking I love myself, I am constantly teaching myself to see the good. I am learning to love myself. I counteract the hateful thoughts with positive. If you are struggling to positive self-talk, picture your daughter, niece, granddaughter, a woman you admire, maybe the first lady, would you say the words you are saying about yourself in front of them? Then don’t say it to yourself alone or in your head.

It is a freeing experience when you get let go of expectations and standards that don’t reflect who you are and when you can find your own way to love your body. It's also really fun.


Alice Seuffert vproud
About the author: Alice Seuffert is an education researcher, television foodie and blogger who writes about parenting and creative comfort food at Dining with Alice. She is mom to Stella and Wes and has trained her kids to be excellent egg crackers with the hope that one day they will make her breakfast in bed. She is the author of Freezer Meals for Moms and you can also follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram. Join Alice's honest conversations on VProud.


Join This Honest Conversation

stop hating yourself
Breaking News: It is totally okay to not hate yourself and to refuse to put yourself down.

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