Unfriending On Facebook 101

6:23 AM

There are absolutely unfriending etiquette rules when considering unfriending someone on Facebook. Unfriend others like you want others to unfriend you.

lisa and liz the status of all things

Unfriending Etiquette

Most of us spend so much of our time on social media that the lines between our online lives and our in real life ones aren't anywhere near as clearly drawn as they once were. What's still waiting to catch up, though, are online rules of conduct that mirror in person ones. On VProud there's a fun video that we would consider to be pro unfriending on Facebook. Mothers, best friends, and co-authors Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke reflect on this video and topic from the lens of not only being longtime social media users, but also as bestselling authors who've written extensively about how those online and in real life lines are awfully blurry. Take a look at what Liz and Lisa have to say about unfriending etiquette and see how their thoughts fit in with yours, or, maybe, if their opinions affect yours.

—The VProud Team
unfriending someone on facebook

Unfriending Someone On Facebook, 

The In Real Life Edition

By Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke for VProud

Do we have someone we are dying to unfriend on Facebook?

Short answer: Hell to the yes!

Sure, there are people that drive us nuts on Facebook. Like that woman we fell in love with at a work conference, but didn’t realize would send us countless requests to play Candy Crush Saga. (PS: that’s one invite we won’t be accepting!) Or the elementary school classmate whose political rants make Donald Trump’s seem tame. And, oh, how we wish we could un-see the crass status updates from our second cousin, twice removed! So would we like to un-friend all of them? Of course! Because life is too short to have obnoxious people in your feed, right?

Kind of.
The reality is that we don’t unfriend any of them, and here’s why: We try to treat Facebook like real life (interesting concept, we know!) and unfortunately, you can’t just ignore people like that obnoxious mom who constantly brags about her kids when you see her in the pick up line at school. And we certainly don’t cut people out of our lives because they don’t share the same political views as we do. Sure, we may walk out of the room, but not out of their lives. We love Facebook for so many reasons, but one thing we don’t love is the way people tend to be crueler behind their computer screen. So we have a rule—if you wouldn’t do it to their someone’s face, then don’t do it on Facebook.
Plus, theAnd here’s a tip: The best way to get the those annoying people out of your feed without them knowing is to just hide them. (There’s a pull down menu to the right of the status update. Just click.) That way, you’re still “friends,” but you don’t have to hear what they thought of the presidential debates or see a picture of the gluten free, paleo chocolate carob chip cookies they baked—again. Just like in the real world when you don’t stop your shopping cart when you see someone in the grocery store, but say a nice hello and keep rolling pushing by and on to get your kale. They don’t have to know you’re annoyed!

And while it might seem like it’s easier to click the unfriend button, it could have consequences that would only cause more harm than good. Are we really prepared to answer to this unfriended friend if they see us in their “People you might know” section and realize how they got there? No, we’re not. Because Candy Crush and political rants just aren’t important enough to stir up that kind of drama.

So, no unfriend buttons for us! Because we wouldn’t just start ignoring a real life friend without explanation, so we wouldn’t do it on Facebook either.


lisa steinke and liz fenton vproud
About the authors: Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke are the authors of The Status of All Things and Your Perfect Life. They've been best friends for more than twenty-five years. Liz lives in San Diego with her husband, two children. Lisa, a former talk show producer, lives in Chicago with her husband, daughter and two bonus children. You can find them on their website and Twitter. Join Lisa and Liz’s honest conversations on VProud.



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