10 Surprisingly Simple Ways To Make Friends As An Adult

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Making new friends after college is hard and new friendships take time to form. Mom friends are especially important. Here's how to make them.


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Making New Friends As An Adult Is Hard

Making new friends as an adult can feel tricky. Our lives feel busy and our access to free time and new people feel limited. But there are so many benefits to making new friends--and even more benefits of spending time with friends. On VProud there's a fantastic and hilarious Echosmith "Cool Kids" parody called "Cool Moms." Mother, writer, and social media consultant Meredith Spidel started the conversation to open the door to discussing how one of the things that may hold us back from making new friends as an adult is that we still compare ourselves to others. Whether we're the mom who shows up to the pick up line five minutes early or late, showered or not, with makeup or without it, we can't help but take note of how all the other moms seem. One thing we have learned at VProud is that no one is alone in their feelings. All of us have felt this way at one time or another. If we can keep this in mind, maybe we can step over these friendship forming stumbling blocks and make new friends as an adult. Take a look at our best adult friendship forming tips and see what you would add to our list.

—The VProud Team

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Ten Stellar Ideas To Make New Friends After College

  1. Join a class. Common interests are bonding. Talk to the person who sits next to you.
  2. Go to the gym. Endorphins will make you happy (friendly!) and you'll be around other happy (friendly!) people. Also, same people-same class-every week is a regularly scheduled opportunity to ask someone to go get a smoothie after class with you.
  3. Make eye contact, get off your phone, and smile. When you are where the people are, whether it's at the coffee shop, the grocery store, or the pick up line, make contact.
  4. Make the first move. This can feel hard, but channel your inner five year old. Want to play? sounds like, I like your shirt, I love that book, or Hi, I'm ... as an adult.
  5. Read MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche. This is a fascinating account of Bertsche's yearlong quest to make new friends as an adult. So. Good.
  6. Find people to bond with over the big things in your life. If you have a new baby, join a baby-centered class; if you have a new job, join a club or a team they have; if you're writing a book, join a book club; if you're training for a 10K, join a running club. You get the idea. Make your new friends a part of what you already have going on.
  7. Turn to social media. Most of us are connected to so many people online who we never make the effort to see offline. Change that. Message someone and ask them to meet for coffee, lunch, or a morning walk.
  8. Host a dinner party. When you're looking for new friendships, you often have to make the effort and, usually, you have to make the effort more than once. Have fun with this, open your home or backyard for a random mix of people to get together and bond. be a connector and you'll strengthen your connections and friendships at the same time. Win, win.
  9. Reach out to local writers and bloggers you read. This might sound odd at first, but hear me out. Online writers share their stories, if you read someone and think they're interesting or you may have some things in common, reach out, tell them, and offer to buy them a cup of coffee. Some may be more interested in getting together than others, but why not try, right?
  10. Say yes. This is the most important tip of all. We are so often quick to say no, scroll, or press delete when we're personally or publicly invited to an event, party, or a Jamberry night. Take a chance, be vulnerable, and go. You never know, you might just make a new friend (as an adult!).
Meredith Spidel started this conversation on VProud. Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents of the world and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, including I Just Want to Pee Alone, I Just Want to Be Alone, I Still Just Want to Pee Alone, You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth, and Clash of the Couple She has been a staff writer at Aiming Low and has been featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, BlogHer, In the Powder Room, Bonbon Break and Scary Mommy. Meredith loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference, and enjoys providing social media consultation and management services to her clients. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting. Join Meredith's honest conversations on VProud.

Join This Honest Conversation


make new friends after college
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