Coming Out Is A Journey Not An Event. Here Is Why.

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It is so important to share and to listen to coming out stories. The best coming out advice comes from people in the LGBTQ community who have been there.

On VProud there is a phenomenally important video and conversation called, "Is this some sort of phase: Do you believe being LGBTQ is temporary?" In this coming out video, VProud conversation creator and blogger Stacy Solis shares a slice of her coming out story. We are such fans of Stacy and her honest conversations, and her coming out advice is a great example of why. Coming out stories are so very valuable for all of us to tell, listen to, and truly hear. We are thrilled to have Stacy on the blog today sharing her coming out story, which she calls a journey. Take a look at her video and read her words to see why. We love her thinking and think that you will, too.

—The VProud Team

The Journey Of Coming Out

By Stacy Solis on VProud

Coming out of the closet isn’t exactly the easiest thing for the average human being that likes the same sex. For some, it is. It took me twenty-three years to come out of the closet. In between those years I was battling myself left and right over and over again. I went through pain, disgust, disappointment, sadness; pretty much the entire entire cast and movie of Inside Out. That is now my favorite movie being that I could identify with it so much. 

On December 30th, 2015 I hit my two year mark of being out of the closet to my immediate family; mainly my mom and older sister. I often sit back and think about all of the hours I put into struggling to find a way to “change” my sexuality at the same time that I was figuring out the process of growing into my own skin. This entire time I hadn’t realized what the most important thing I was missing was. The love for myself. I had not an ounce of love for the person I was born to be. I found myself feeling hate for my own being. I felt negatively about myself. I felt ashamed of my own emotions and feelings. 

I was pressured to come out of the closet many times before by friends and those I thought loved me unconditionally. I realize I never knew what unconditional love truly was, until I started to love myself just how I am. Two years ago, I let go of my fear of not being accepted and being disowned. I was frightened that my mother would see me as nothing more than a disappointment. I spent hours, days, months wishing I would wake up form that nightmare and be society’s version of normal. Truth is, I wasn’t ever going to wake up unless I began to accept myself; love myself. 

Two years ago, I woke up and I cried. Everything that I was feeling, carrying, dragging alongside me with every fearful footstep I took, was finally left behind me. I was now free to be and feel. Getting to this point was only ever something I hoped for, yet never thought I’d arrive to. Here I am. I arrived and I am living.

Nonetheless, I am continuously learning how to love and accept myself as the days go by. I can say that today I love myself more than I have ever in my very own lifetime. I struggled, but I kept pushing through no matter how long it took. I didn’t rush coming out of the closet even when I knew there would never be a right time to come out. There was a better time for me, and it took twenty-three years to reach that better time. Things just fell into place the way they had always been meant to. 

I had planned to come out of the closet many times before. More often than not, things hardly ever to turn out to happen as planned. You see, caterpillars never once question the process of becoming a butterfly. They don’t complain and wish they would become a tiger. They just do. They just exist. They just allow themselves to go through metamorphosis. If a caterpillar would hold itself back, it would never give itself the chance to grow into that gorgeous butterfly that it is destined to be. 

I was that caterpillar scared to be. I kept going, and I went where life was taking me. Before I knew it, I had been spinning myself into a silky cocoon. I broke free and spread my wings. I grew into that butterfly. I allowed myself to exist. It’s been a long journey to coming out. I’m still on that journey and I am happier than ever. I wrote and put together the video below on how I felt throughout my years of constant struggle and realization. No matter what, keep moving forward. Don’t allow anyone to influence you away from the path of your very own journey to coming out.


stacy solis vproud
About the author: Stacy Solis is a VProud creator and blogger. She is a YouTuber who devotes the majority of her time creating advice videos to help the LGBTQ community in hopes that she can inspire anyone struggling, with her personal story. Her passion derives from being that voice for those that are and feel voiceless. She is also the founder of the The Simply Human Project which offers merchandise and wristbands with positive affirmations engraved on them. Whenever she is not avidly creating content to be a positive influence in the LGBTQ community across the Internet and YouTube, you'll find her consuming her spare time freelance editing. Join Stacy's honest conversations on VProud.

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